I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
