i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
