i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
