To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
