i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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