discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
