He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
