He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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