I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
