apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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