also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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