I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
