3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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