Well douche your snatch and let's go!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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