I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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