you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
