There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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