He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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