i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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