We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
