R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
