she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm passing your future prison.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
