what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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