i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
