i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just found puke in my bra..
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
