why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
