My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
