you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
