it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
