Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
