awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
