Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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