your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
