My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
