I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
