I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
