he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
