Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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