Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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