At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
