She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
