Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
