You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
