Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
