so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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