I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
