Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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