I want to walk on stilts...naked
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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