my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
