I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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