It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
