Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
