nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
