so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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